Saturday, January 12, 2013


Robot: Are you all right?
Voice: Yes, I’m fine thank you.
Robot: May I get you something?
Voice: Um, nothing thank you.

Robot: Scanning... Request complete.


Robot: Is that sufficient?
Voice: [Gruffly] Yes, it's fine.
Robot: I sense you are pensive.
Voice: No, I'm just annoyed at your pestering me about nothing.


Robot: Is there anything else I can get for you?
Voice: Damnit. Oh, alright. I'd like... paper. Yes, I'd like some paper and a pen.
Robot: Scanning... Request complete.

A holographic piece of paper and a holographic pen appeared.

Voice: [Sigh] No, I'd like real paper and a real pen.
Robot: Scanning... These items are not available at this time.


The holographic paper and pen remained hovering in the nothingness.

Robot: Do you require anything else?
Voice: Yes, I'd like a pair of hands please.
Robot: Scanning... Request complete.

Holographic hands appeared, next to the paper and pen.

Voice: [Sigh] Real hands, please.
Robot: Scanning... These items are not available at this time.
Voice: Oh fine. Now, let's see. I haven't done this in quite awhile.
Robot: Scanning...
Voice: No, I don't mean "see". It's just a figure of speech.
Robot: Scan canceled.


Voice: Hmmm... Left-hand or right-hand?
Robot: Scanning... Statistical analysis indicates the right hand has been used most prevalently.

Slowly, the holographic left hand moved and picked up the holographic pen, placed it on the holographic paper and began to write in holographic ink.

Voice: Do you know of what I am writing?
Robot: Yes.
Voice: I would like possession of these items as soon as possible.
Robot: Scanning... The materials that fit your description are available for ordering. Would you like me to place the order?
Voice: Yes please, place the order.
Robot: Scanning... Order created... Order submitted... Order complete. Arrival of the ordered items will occur in
4.339 ± 0.035 ×1017 seconds.
Voice: Thank you. It's time to rest now.


<word count: 321>

1 comment:

Parabolic Muse said...

I believe I love this for reasons beyond my ability to put my finger on them. My right finger.